Can you answer Amanda’s question about Divorce?:

My son’s father is being deployed to Iraq in May, but leaves in March for his training. Child support is already court ordered, but I know that there will be a huge increase in his pay once he leaves. What should I do about getting child support increased? Should I contact his national guard unit or child support enforcement now or should I wait? If I wait until he has gone, how do I show his income?
He is ordered to pay, but has just started to pay because he will most likely to have to serve 30 days before he leaves. His court date is on the 18th for that. He is over 3000 behind already.
He is in the national guard so when we processed the orders he was working a minimum wage job. His pay will increase.

Divorce Attorneys In Texas

In spite of all the talk about amicable divorces, they in reality are few and far between. Let’s face it there’s nothing friendly about sharing your life with someone for a period of time only to decide to call it quits. Only a small number of people show up in divorce court with a smile on their face after investing themselves physically emotionally and spiritually in a relationship.

It only gets worst when it comes to deciding who gets what. Many a divorce has seen all out war with the prize being who gets the kids, the house or both. Or it can be something lesser (not from their perspective of course) like who gets the goldfish bowl or the recliner with the two cigarette burns and coffee stains.

That’s the nature of intimate relationships but there is one aspect like few others that can not only keep the battle raging long after the judge has made their decision but open up a totally new front which makes the initial conflict look tame by comparison. Alimony payments.

Basically, alimony is post divorce payments from one spouse earning a higher income to another. If the spouse making less money is also awarded child custody then they may and should receive some kind of regular stipend for the child’s upbringing.

Sounds reasonable on paper. So why exactly has this been a bone of contention?

1. Changing Times

In the old days it was a given that men were the family breadwinners. Women were shut out of many employment opportunities that would have granted them a chance to make money that was at least comparable to what men made. While that battle is still raging in many places the fact is women have made great progress in the work world; in some instances doing much better financially than their soon to be ex husbands. Still perception has been slow to catch up with reality. All too often it still falls on the man to make the financial payments.

2. The Pay Scale

As mentioned this is still an area that requires a lot more effort; equal pay for equal work. However for modern couples the two income household has been the rule rather than the exception for quite a long time. The cost of living has made this a necessity for most people, so if both spouses are working and one person is making slightly more than the other; than there is a lingering question as to why either of them would be asking for alimony payments.

3. One Is Enough

Times are tough but many an ex spouse feels if they do the right thing and make sure the children are taking care of than why should they have to dole out money to an able bodied adult?

This is a biggie. If the ex has no physical problems then whether they decide to go out and get a job is entirely up to them. For many payer spouses it’s the equivalent of supporting them to sit home and do nothing. That festers a lot of hostility.

4. More

The payee decides the current alimony is not enough and revisits the whole issue again on a regular forceful basis with threats of taking their ex back to court. If an ex spouse was not happy about paying alimony in the first place, then you can multiply that feeling by one thousand and then add a few more zeroes. To them it’s flat out greed and gaming the system so that they wind up in the poor house. When divorces take a nasty turn that is exactly what the other person has in mind.

Things happen in life and divorce is one of them. But if you are going to have to deal with your ex in the future, than try to work out a settlement that is win-win for both parties. The goal is to be completely independent of your former significant other. It’s only right that if you have been awarded child custody that you get all the support you can but if you don’t need the alimony than don’t ask for it.



Thanks to Daryl Campbell for contributing this article to our Divorce blog:

Divorce Tips

Can you answer mary s’s question about Divorce?:

does child support has to be claim as income on state and federal tax returns?
i live in virginia, if that helps.

Filing For Divorce In Florida

Now one has become two again. It is a new chapter in your life where you have to deal with single hood the second time around. Huge changes can happen in your life. Your daily routine may be changed, even your lifestyle. But this time, it is not all about you.

You have a child to consider. New concerns start to come up. If your spouse is not willing to have a personal agreement with regards to your child, how will you go about it?

For instance you live in the state of "Flowery Easter", and then child custody lawyers in Florida may help orient you with matters regarding child custody.

Child custody is a lawful term which depicts the legal and realistic relationship between a child and his parent. It is granted by the court to the justifiable parent who can very well take care of the child.

Your Florida child custody lawyer may guide you to be familiar with the different types of child custody so you will have an idea which type to go into.

Physical Child Custody

Your lawyer will help you understand that physical child custody points out to a parent who has the tangible accountability to take care of the child. Normally under this type of custody, the granted parent sees to it that he will be able to provide the child with his basic needs and other relevant necessities apt for the child’s growth.

Commonly, under this custody the child lives with the parent who has been granted custody.

Joint Child Custody

With this type of custody, both parents have tangible accountabilities with the child. Both your child custody lawyers can help you with the necessary parental supervision arrangements.

The agreement with this type of custody is that the child will have to spend a definite period of time with you as well as your spouse. Commonly, your lawyer will suggest a rotating schedule. For instance, the first and third weeks of the month will be spent with you and the rest of the weeks will be spent with your spouse.

Legal Child Custody

Most lawyers despise this type of custody since it is the most intricate. Your lawyer will have a keen examination on all aspects such as your child’s education, physical address, health care matters, religious concerns and other applicable matters to promote a healthy well-being for your child.

When you sought for legal child custody, the court will determine which specific aspects of child-rearing will be given to you and your spouse. You may be given responsibility to handle your child’s education. On the other hand, your spouse may be granted the duty to give your child a good-quality health care.

Sole Child Custody

Your lawyer should carefully discuss this matter with you. This type of custody is given to a parent who has the capability to raise the child in a healthy environment where he will be given utmost care, attention and love. You as the parent who have been granted guardianship have an exclusive right to take care of your child.

However your lawyer must remind you that with this type of custody, there is a possibility that the court will give the custody to the other party if they find you incapable.

You may want to contact recommended Florida child custody lawyers for further information regarding the types of child custody.

It does not matter whether you are alone or with someone, what is important is how you give worth to your child - the fruit of once a great love.



Thanks to Susie for contributing this article to our Divorce blog:

How To File For Divorce

Alimony and child support are important aspects of a divorce case and involve ensuring the financial stability of both spouses and the children. Alimony is designed to limit the unfair economic effects of a divorce by providing continuing income to the non-wage-earning or lower-wage-earning spouse. A court sets the amount of alimony it concludes is fair and reasonable to be paid for a period of time. The amount of alimony that must be paid is usually based on the standard of living established and expected during the marriage, the age and health of the spouses, the obligations and assets of each spouse, the length of the marriage, and a number of other factors that may vary by state. Unlike child support, which is determined according to rigid guidelines, courts have considerable discretion in determining if they will award alimony and, if they do, the amount and time period for which it lasts.

Child support is the ongoing obligation for a periodic payment made directly or indirectly by a non-custodial parent to a custodial parent, caregiver or guardian, or the government, for the care and support of children of a relationship or marriage that has been terminated. Child support may be awarded in joint custody cases when there is a significant discrepancy between the parents’ incomes. Exact conditions for eligibility of child support and guidelines for the calculation of child support vary from state to state, but generally take into consideration the needs of the child, the needs of the custodial parent, the paying parent’s ability to pay, and the standard of living the child was accustomed to before the divorce. If alimony has been awarded, that amount is deducted from the payer’s income and added to the payee’s income when child support is being calculated.

Tip #1: There is no formula for determining alimony. According to divorce lawyer Peter Paras, “Alimony is really more art than science and it, it results from a consideration of a variety of statutory factors. Courts and lawyers have to consider the duration of the marriage, the age of the parties, their incomes, their assets, their liabilities, their lifestyles, their health, whether or not any of their assets generate income. These are all factors that have to be considered in determining whether alimony is to be paid and, if so, whether it’s going to be permanent, rehabilitative, or limited duration alimony and in what amount.”

Tip #2: Child support may continue after the child has reached the age of 18 under certain circumstances. Technically, the non-custodial parent’s obligation continues until the child is emancipated. “Children are emancipated at different times,” explains divorce lawyer Peter Paras. “Typically they’re emancipated when they reach the age of 18 and have graduated from high school, but emancipation is often delayed while a child finishes a higher education, such as four years of college, trade school, or something of that nature. That’s when the obligation technically ends.” Child support may also be extended beyond the age of 18 if the child has special needs. If the child has been declared emancipated by a court prior to reaching the age of 18, is on active military duty, or the parents’ rights and responsibilities have been terminated for any other reason, child support payments may be discontinued.

Tip #3: Understand that there are different types of alimony. Limited duration alimony usually applies to cases in which the marriage is too short to justify permanent alimony. Rehabilitative alimony is designed to provide financial assistance to the more economically dependent spouse while he or she becomes more financially independent by getting job training, building up work history, or furthering education. Permanent alimony is typically paid when there is a long term marriage, but it is important to note that permanent alimony is not always permanent. Divorce attorney Peter Paras explains, “Permanent alimony is somewhat of a misnomer in that it probably would be better termed indefinite alimony. It can end or be modified is circumstances change in the future.” Examples of changes in circumstances that could be grounds for the cessation of permanent alimony include the remarriage of the recipient, the death of the payer, or cohabitation of the recipient with someone of the opposite sex.

Divorce cases involve many different types of issues, including preparing for your divorce, child custody and visitation, and assets and property, all of which will be addressed in this series.

For more divorce advice, refer back to Parts 1 and 2 of this series and look for the upcoming final installment:

Part 1: Divorce Advice: Preparing for Your Divorce

Part 2: Divorce Advice: Child Custody and Child Visitation

Part 4: Divorce Advice: Assets and Property Division



Thanks to Elizabeth Ryan for contributing this article to our Divorce blog:

Divorce Property Settlement